I really hate the feeling that I am constantly missing something. It is a bad feeling even a scary one. It is completely real though. I don't think there is a way to ever eliminate this feeling. It is a permanent one and someday it will be renewed by more loss. I wish I could say I didn't have any regrets but I do. I mean I think everyone has a regret about something in their lifetime. It would be crazy to not have any regrets although most likely everyone strives to have none. I regret not spending more time with my brother over the years and now that his gone I really realize how much that sucks. I regret few things in life but that main one has been sticking with me lately. I can only hope that I can pursue a life of minimal regrets because why should I be left with regrets when it is over? I don't really regret other things in my life, in most situations it is the experience in life that has lead me to where I am today. I simply regret the experience of loss. How is it that loss has such an impact. It can be extremely devastating. ON a brighter note..
I have been searching for a job and hope to freakin get this one that I really want soon, but only time will tell if it is the job meant for me. I have been meeting a lot of new people recently and making new friends. It is great to have the opportunity to meet new people and to explore life a little bit.
Lately I have been thinking of some people in a way that I never really expected. And it is confusing. I really don't know what to make of any of it. New friends can always be a challenge to understand and figure out. And I'm slowly trying to do that. It is never any easy thing to understand someones intentions right off the bat. You almost have to do your homework on that person to make sense of it. So I'm "doing my homework" on a few people to see what they are all about and how our relationship is going to work if it does at all.
