pursuit of happiness

Today I am not feeling the win, but feeling the loss. The loss from a lot of things from last year. The loss of my brother. There are probably a lot of things I've lost over the course of 2011 but nothing stands out as great as that. I wander around sometimes feeling lost and really just unable to believe that it happened. I still search for memories of Joe everywhere. I see him everyday in pictures and I smile but my smile comes with a memory that I won't ever get to see him smile at something funny again, or at the Giants winning. I find myself in the pursuit of happiness lately. Avidly trying new things and letting life take me over. I want to know every bit of what it is like to "live". How can one word be defined in such a vast way. Everything ever done throughout my life is defined as how I "lived". Well I want to live an extroadinary life. I want to fill my life experiences with fun, exciting, adventurous, outrageous, dangerous, scary, rare, boring, happy, calm, and loving moments. I'm still trying to find all these moments I'm searching for to make me feel as though I lived a full life. Some say as long as you have laughed and loved that your life is complete. For the most part that is very true. And even more true if you have shared laughs with the one or ones you love. I can still always consider myself lucky in life. Right now I have a family that loves me, a house to live in (my home), someone to share my daily moments with, a niece and a nephew to make me smile, a secure job, food to eat, and friends to keep me smiling- LUCKY. But not everyone is lucky in life. I find myself struggling with how I am indeed lucky, but other people are really unlucky and struggling in life. I want to share my daily feeling of being lucky with other people. They deserve to be lucky and happy just as much as I do. So as I pursue happiness in every aspect of life I hope I can along the way share some luck, and spread some happiness as I find it.