It's not okay to say goodbye

This will just be a short post since i don't have a lot of time to say all of what i want to say, but this week has been long and exhausting. I lost my brother (in-law) although to me he was a brother. I never wanted to have to say goodbye to him especially as soon as it happened. There were many tears and a lot of sad times with my family. And i found my self constantly saying it's not okay. Although eventually it will be. It did not feel okay at all in the moment when i stood infront of everyone at his funeral attempting to read the poem i wrote for him (which i will post later), it didn't seem okay at all. It seemed everything opposite okay. I felt as though there was a thousand bricks on my chest and it became difficult to even take a breath. I had entirely more tears running down my face than any consumption of water could have made a difference for. I am positive that every memory i have had over the past week will forever be embeded in my head. It is hard to say goodbye to someone so close, and I really wish i hadn't had to.